Thursday 3 May 2018

WRITING TIPS - How to Avoid Passive Voice in Your Writing

So, you got your tenses sorted. Your past is now kept in your past. 
You've got a proof reader, and there's barely any spelling errors. 
Congratulations; your writing is improving. 

However, some bright spark tells you your novel is boring. This could well be because of THE PASSIVE VOICE (*insert dramatic music*)
Some reviewers will actually use that term. Readers are increasingly savvy. 

But wtf is passive voice? 
Well, it's kinda what it says. 
I've looked up the technical definition for you
"A form or set of forms of a verb in which the subject undergoes the action of the verb (e.g. they were killed as opposed to the active form he killed them )."

It has its place in writing (e.g. if you don't want to reveal which character is performing the action). But as a rule of thumb, you want to be dynamic, and use 'active voice'. 
You want your characters to do something, and not just have stuff done to them.

Think of avoiding any form of 'to be' or 'have'. Be careful; this isn't always the case. Just keep it in mind.

Here's a humorous example of passive voice:
Why was the road crossed by the chicken?

Trying to think of all this may feel overwhelming. Your school lessons creak and groan their way back up to the top of your memory. 



Here's what I find handy:
He/she/it/feeling - often lead to passive voice

I usually write in the 3rd person. So, for me, a repeating occurrence of 'she' is a good indicator of passive voice. Aim to keep the usage down, maybe one per paragraph? 

She ran through the forest, not knowing where she was going, but she needed to get away from whatever was chasing her. 
becomes
Her feet pounded against the ground as she sprinted away from her predator, without any real thought of direction. 

Does the second example sound more dramatic? A sense of urgency has been added. The character is moving. 

Your character shouldn't "feel sad", but should "her shoulders slumped and her head bent as tears escaped her eyes". 
But this really falls under "show don't tell" which I'll explore fully another time. 
It just wanted to pop up here, so I let it.


Along similar lines, avoid too many adverbs (the words ending 'ly').
If you say "he said softly", it is stopping some description.
Try "he whispered in her ear" instead. Or "his hushed tones made her quiver".

I'm a fan of adverbs. They were invented; they have a special name, and everything, so I think they're fine. Just, use them with caution. Is there a more elegant/dynamic way of saying what you're writing?



OK, that's all I'm going to say. 
I want to keep this article short and simple, so it's a bit easier to digest. 

As usual, feel free to add your opinion in the comments. Just keep it polite. 


Always in love and light,

TL







8 comments:

  1. I think one of the funniest examples of passive voice in film was in Star Trek VI. During a trial, the prosecutor asked Kirk if he had made a statement about Klingons killing his son. After a dramatic pause, Kirk says, "Those words were spoken by me."

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    Replies
    1. Haha, this is brilliant xx
      Gotta love a bit of Star Trek <3

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  2. This is great advice on making your writing more dynamic and interesting - thanks for sharing!

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